ugh, not another alex turner blog
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alex lover/s
Why Alex Turner ruined my sex life.

I’d rather jerk off to Alex Turner than get with a hot 18 year old guy. (that’s a lie because my life would be so pathetic if that was true, but just go with this ok?)

1. He’s in a band. Simple - boys in bands are hot. We all know this.

2. His name. Alexander Turner. He sounds like he’s a pirate from the Caribbean and I think we can all agree on the fact that pirates are hott. And so is this name. If you don’t believe me just say it out loud to yourself. See? Now do it with a fake British accent. Now listen to him say it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OT792gjUMmA

3. Scroll down.

4a. His accent. Forget about his singing voice for a second, but remember this? http://wearenothinglikeyou.tumblr.com/post/9395645894/a-choice-of-three-spoken-word-story-alex . If you don’t know what this is, fucking listen. Feel free to pleasure yourself close your eyes and relax as you do so, because if you don’t when you put it on, I swear by the end you will (I’m blunt, sue me). 

4b. I’m going elaborate on his voice again. He’s from Sheffield. Seriously, it’s like people born there are made to talk dirty. I honestly can’t listen to Alex talk without thinking dirty things. And that’s without even looking at him. It’s like magic, ugh. 

5. HIS LYRICS. I like smart guys so this definitely puts it over the edge for me. Dumb hott guys are dumb hott guys. The things he writes are amazing and clearly inspired and I’m not saying that because I fantasize about love him, but I actually fell in love with the Arctic Monkeys and their music/his lyrics WAY before I started stalking him online because I was horny. I could make a list of words that come out of his mouth that turn me on, but then I’d be here until next Tuesday. 

6. His face. Brown almond shaped eyes and thin lips. He’s very attractive, there’s no shame in that.

7. Alex Turner’s hair. Seriously though I WANT TO TOUCH IT SO BADLY. It’s beautiful. I’m not the biggest fan of his new look (I’d personally go for more of the Humbug era - early Suck It And See phase, but it’s definitely growing on me)

8. I’m a sucker for cut arms and veiny forearms. He has both. Bingo.

9. He doesn’t seem like a cocky bastard. Not that I would know, but you have to have a pretty good personality to keep such a long relationship. (fuck you Alexa Chung and your gorgeous legs). And his interviews are pleasant - not too talkative.

10. He wears leather. Leather denotes sex. Duh. 

(Source: ughnotanotheralexturnerblog)

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  9. angst-and-nice-cardigans reblogged this from iusedtobesofree and added:
    Thank you, for saying everything I needed to get out there and more.
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  13. 2indie4indie reblogged this from ughnotanotheralexturnerblog and added:
    agree 1)Lyrics 2) Voice 3) Hair 4) Hands 5)...plays the guitar
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